Ramblings
in the Night
Love Unconditionally
I
just wrote about Hate. So, I feel it is necessary to write about its opposite
Love. Much has been written about love. It is one of the most sought-after
things in life. Many people find love. But only a few, hold on to it. It is not
that love is fleeting. People fall in and out of love as often as they change their
underwear seems like these days. If you keep up with the entertainment industry
in the news. Some star has broken up with the current flavor of the month and
moved on to a new boy/girlfriend. It makes this statement pretty true. Most
people fall in lust not love.
What
is love. Well the dictionary says that love is, an intense feeling of deep
affection. “Love is a variety of feelings, states and attitudes.” True enough.
I like what the Dalai Lama said, “LOVE is the absence of judgement.” When you
love someone, there shouldn’t be restrictions or conditions to that love. But most people want to put conditions on
their love.
When
I was young I heard an old saying, Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly is to the bone.
I believe this is a very true statement. I have met some very beautiful people.
But once you get past the pretty, they are the ugliest people I have ever met.
Their image of themselves, hinders them from truly loving another person. I read a profile a young man created that
said, I am intimidated by anyone prettier than me. And the photo the young man
used on the profile, he was very attractive. How can people be so vain, that
they don’t like others that might be better looking than themselves.
JEALOUSY..
Mom holding me with my uncle Eddie looking on. 1969
I’m
getting off subject and chasing rabbits. Lol. My Mom I would say, is the best
example of unconditional love. She used to aggravate me when she would say, you
will never know love like, a love a mother has for her child. Being a guy, I
couldn’t be a mother. But as a son. I knew the love of my Mother. Not one time
in all my years breathing air, have I ever been worried that my Mom didn’t love
me.
Don’t
get me wrong. I’m not perfect. I have said and done things that have made my
Mom fighting mad. But she never stopped loving me, even with all my fault and
flaws. When I was a kid, she would beat
me and call it a whooping. Even today and me a grown man. She will sometimes
say, I wish you were little boy again so I could give you a whooping. We still
argue and fuss. But deep down, I know my Mom loves me. And I love her.
There
were no conditions to mom’s love. She loved freely. Without reserve. But there
were consequences to stepping out of line or misbehaving. Punishment was swift
and sure. It usually ended with my going to hunt for a hickory switch. And
while Mom was using that hickory switch on me. She would be saying this is
hurting me more than you. I would be screaming. NO, IT’S NOT. While I was
running around in a circle trying to get away from her.
Looking
back now, I do realize that yes, it probably was hurting her to have to correct
me. But also, she wanted me to grow up to be a decent man. I’m sure I have
failed in that area many times.
Me with the Mumps and my Dad. 1977
With
my Dad, to have his love, there were conditions that had to be met. He expected
his son, to love sports, hunting, fishing, camping, and a plethora of other
manly things. Well I do like some of those things. I love to hunt, fish, camp. I even like some
sports. Dad would get upset if you didn’t go out for the sports offered at
school. He didn’t understand my love of reading, or Matchbox cars.
The
biggest obstacle between me and my Dad today, is my being gay. He cannot accept
it. He acts all awkward, when he is around me. Like, he’s not sure what he
should say, that wouldn’t sound like him being an asshole. Although, he can be
a major asshole at time. Usually when he is trying to tell me how to live my
life.
Let
me give you an example. Dad has been going to a revival at a church that a good
friend and former college roommate is the Pastor of. His name is Chris Rumfelt.
When Dad told me about the revival and whose church it was. I told him, that
Chris and I were friends and former college roommates. Big mistake on my part.
Because he called me the next day. Dad told me that he asked Chris to pray for
me. That I was living a sinful life and proceeded to tell Chris my business.
I’m not mad that he asked Chris to pray for me. I am mad that, he took it upon
himself to tell things that he knows nothing about. But like I said, Dads love
always has conditions attached to it.
Mom
always told me to love God first, then family, then friends and everyone else.
In that order. She would say, God should be first in your life above all
others. She would tell me that God loves me. That Jesus made the ultimate
sacrifice of love, by dying for everyone and taking away their sins. As a young
child that was good to know. Because I sinned a lot. I still do.
Even
with myself. I know that I put conditions on my love. I have loved 3 guys in my
life. Each one of them were special in one or another. Each had special
qualities that I found attractive. Even though for one reason or another,
things didn’t work out. But I still think of them fondly. We still stay in
contact with each other. We remained friends.
Tracy
was my first love. The moment I laid eyes on him, I was lost. He was way out of
my league. But it was love at first sight. I couldn’t sleep, eat, or
concentrate, I was always thinking about him. The funny thing about Tracy. He
had a dog named Buttons. He told me when we went out on our first date that if
Buttons didn’t like me that was it. I worked for a bank at the time. I stuffed
my pockets with doggy treats that evening when I left work and headed to
Asheville for our date. I got to Tracy’s apartment. Set down, and Buttons came
over to me sniffing. Then she pawed at my pockets. Tracy asked me, what was in
my pockets. I pulled out the doggy treats and Buttons tail started wagging
nonstop. Tracy laughed and said, you have bribed my dog. I replied, no just
getting in good with the boss. Lol
Me with Coco and Rootbeer
It is
not only humans that know how to love and show affection. I have 3 dogs. Coco,
Rootbeer, and Lil Shug. They each have their own personalities. But they are
all very lovable. They can be very demanding when they want attention. Coco, is
my bully. She will bully her way in so that she can love on you or you love on
her. She doesn’t understand the word no. But she is very loving and
affectionate. Rootbeer, he does this
little gig and this funny growl, if he thinks you are ignoring him. Then once
he has your attention it is up in your lap to hangout and nap. And then there
is little Shug. She is the baby of the trio. Now she likes to walk up my chest,
so I can blow in her face. Once I start that she will pat my jaws with her paws
and turn her head from side to side wanting to keep doing it. It is a big game
to her. She likes to snuggle up real close to nap. But once she comfy she does
not like to be disturbed.
Love
should be free. Love should not cost you anything. You shouldn’t have to change
yourself to be loved. If you must give up something or change who you are to
get love, there is a problem. There are restrictions to this kind of love. That
is a warped kind of love.
Love
should bring joy into your life. Love should make you giddy and light headed
when it is freely given and received. Love should happiness to your life and
the lives that you are showing love to. True love knows no bounds. It doesn’t
have borders or limitations. Love can brighten your darkest day.
I
will close with this. I heard a
statement. It went something like this.
If love is what you seek. Seek it with all your heart. Be prepared to
travel to the ends of the earth to gain it.
Lil Shug being all cute and sweet.
Written By: David M. Shuler
21JUNE2017
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